just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
