3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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