Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My pussy is not your playground.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize