Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
