the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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