I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
