he puts the penis in happiness.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
