Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
