you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
