Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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