Do vagina's smell?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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