four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We just shotgunned beers for America
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
