If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
