Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize