All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
