Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i think i have two assholes
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize
