shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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