she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
