know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
