In the future we'll all be gay
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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