Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
