i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
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