Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
