hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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