have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
