i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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