Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
