What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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