The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
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Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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