i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I said "one day" and that day is not today
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
