omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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