What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
