hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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