I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize