it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
