the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
