I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
