so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
