I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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