U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
