I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
