How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
