doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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