Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
