Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
