He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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