Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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