It's Friday. Sex?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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