Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
