I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
