I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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