He asked to "fluff my boner.."
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize