I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
