i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
