Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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