Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
