Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize