i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
