The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i will never coherently bang her
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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