I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
do herpes really smell.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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