My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
