you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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