I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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